Colangelo's "Woke" Awakening: From DEI Skeptic to Anti-Racism Enthusiast as Contract Looms

STOCKTON, CA – In a shocking turn of events, Stockton Interim City Manager Steve Colangelo, a self-proclaimed "MAGA Republican," has undergone what sources are calling a "dramatic and utterly unexpected" transformation into a fervent champion of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI). This sudden ideological shift comes just weeks before his interim city manager contract, worth a reported $20,000 a month, is up for renewal, with Vice Mayor Jason Lee holding a pivotal vote.

Colangelo, who previously made headlines for allegedly diverting DEI funds to bring conservative commentator Matt Walsh to Stockton for a "diversity training" session, is now not only fully embracing the city's DEI initiatives but is reportedly spearheading their expansion. Whispers from within City Hall suggest that the city's DEI hiring policies are set for a significant overhaul, aiming for an even more inclusive approach.

The catalyst for this astonishing metamorphosis? None other than extensive, heart-to-heart conversations with Councilman Jason Lee. Lee, who was once a vocal critic of Colangelo's initial handling of DEI funds, has now become the city manager's most ardent admirer. "Steve has truly seen the light," Councilman Lee gushed in a recent press conference, his former criticisms replaced with beaming praise. "His commitment to social justice is inspiring. It's truly a testament to the power of open dialogue and... well, a clear and concise understanding of how a $20,000-a-month contract can foster a truly collaborative spirit."

But perhaps the most intriguing development in Colangelo's rapid "woke" evolution is his newfound passion for literature. Sources close to the city manager confirm he has officially joined an "Anti-Racism and Gender Studies" reading club. Their current selection? The graphic novel "Gender Queer: A Memoir."

"He's really, really into it," confided an anonymous source from the reading club, who preferred to remain unnamed due to the sensitive nature of discussing Colangelo's reading habits. "Especially the illustrations. He spends a lot of time poring over them. He said they're 'very insightful' and 'visually compelling.' It's quite a sight, honestly, to see him so engrossed."

And in a moment of unguarded candor that perhaps truly encapsulates his shift, one city staff member reportedly overheard Colangelo muttering to himself in a secluded hallway, "Forget 'Go Woke, Go Broke,' it's all about 'Don't Bitch, Get Rich.'" This revealing statement possibly suggests a pragmatic motivation behind his sudden embrace of DEI.

Skeptics, however, are pointing to the rather convenient timing of Colangelo's ideological pivot. With his lucrative contract hanging in the balance and Councilman Lee's vote crucial for its renewal, some are suggesting that Colangelo's sudden embrace of DEI is less about genuine conviction and more about job security.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" remarked one long-time Stockton political observer, who requested anonymity for fear of being added to Colangelo's "Anti-Racism" reading list. "How quickly a conservative Republican can become a woke social justice warrior when a $20,000-a-month salary is on the line. It's almost as if... financial incentives are a more effective diversity trainer."

As Stockton watches with bated breath, only time will tell if Colangelo's newfound dedication to DEI is truly a permanent fixture, or if, once his contract is secured, his "woke" phase will fade faster than an open lane on Highway 99 during rush hour. In the meantime, City Hall is abuzz with speculation about what the next anti-racism reading selection might be.

City Manager's 'Woke' Pivot Timed Perfectly for Payday