Fugazi's Fiat Fizzles: Mayor Attempts to Dissolve Committee She Can't Control

STOCKTON, CA – In a move that has left political observers frantically checking the City Charter, Mayor Christina Fugazi recently attempted a unilateral dissolution of the ad hoc City Manager Search Committee. The only hiccup? According to city policy, her authority to do so is completely non-existent—a detail that perhaps explains why her last name is "Fugazi" in the first place.

Sources close to City Hall, who requested anonymity to avoid being assigned to the Mayoral Coffee Temperature and Foam Consistency Advisory Board, confirmed that the Mayor's grand pronouncement to disband the ad hoc committee was met with a collective, resounding "Huh?" from staff and council members alike. "It was like watching someone try to start a car by honking the horn," one bewildered aide reportedly muttered. "She just... doesn't have a clue what she's doing."

The City Charter, a document apparently as foreign to the Mayor as a balanced budget, clearly states that ad hoc committees are formed and dissolved by the full council, not by mayoral fiat. This minor detail seems to have escaped Mayor Fugazi's attention.

But fear not, Stocktonians, for Mayor Fugazi is nothing if not persistent in her pursuit of absolute control! Having been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar of committee appointments, "Plan B" is now reportedly in full swing. The new strategy? Orchestrating the removal of Councilman Mario Enríquez from the ad hoc committee.

In the last month, Councilmembers Mario Enríquez and Vice Mayor Jason Lee have reportedly "gone sideways" on the Mayor. Their alleged transgressions include challenging Interim City Manager Steve Colangelo's reallocation of DEI funds and holding a press conference that, in the Mayor's view, ultimately undermined her authority. Suspecting a mutiny brewing in City Hall, the Mayor made a calculated move to rein in her rebellious colleagues.

It turns out that both Enríquez and Lee are members of the very committee she couldn't dissolve. While trying to replace both could create a bitter enemy in Lee, a more pragmatic approach emerged: Enriquez, it seems, can be sacrificed. Conveniently, a reason for his removal was just provided: the classic "Brown Act violation" false accusation trick. This, apparently, gives the Mayor a pretense for replacing him with a more... malleable councilmember, such as the ever-loyal Michelle Padilla.

"It's like a game of political whack-a-mole," explained Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-article. "When one power grab fails, another, more convoluted one immediately pops up. The goal is clear: control the city manager hiring process."

You can almost count down the hours before the predictable 209 Times exposé drops on Mario's "alleged" Brown Act violation. There is probably an email in Mario's inbox right now from 209 Times investigative "journalist" Frank Gayaldo with a list of questions so long it requires its own table of contents. Should you dare to honestly answer each one, you'll only discover it's a trap designed to fulfill their preconceived narrative. Mario, if you are reading this, we urge you not to answer Frank's email. He's about as much of an investigator as Hunter Biden is an artist. Just file his email away in your trash bin. They are going to hit you anyway, why help them.

Indeed, the whispers around town suggest that Mayor Fugazi, in a triple tag team effort with, Sam "The Godfather Fant, Motecuzoma "Motec" Sanchez, media czar of the 209 Times, is determined to handpick Stockton's next city manager. The committee, with its pesky adherence to things like "due process" and "qualifications," is merely a bureaucratic inconvenience. Motec and the Mayor, it seems, have a very specific vision for Stockton's top administrator – one that presumably involves unwavering loyalty to their particular brand of "leadership" and a complete disregard for pesky things like independent oversight.

"Look, Motec told me it was okay to dissolve the ad hoc committee," said a city employee who overheard the Mayor in a conversation with her chief of staff. "He knows his stuff. He's got a Masters Degree in Public Administration."

In an unexpected twist, Councilmember Mariela Ponce was going to provide a comment on this recent city council chaos, but at the last moment, she received a critical text message – apparently, her dog ate her statement.

As Stockton navigates this latest political drama, one thing is certain: the search for a new city manager just got a whole lot more entertaining, and a whole lot less about finding the best person for the job. Stay tuned, folks, because in Mayor Fugazi's Stockton, the plot always thickens.

Mayor Fugazi Lives Up to Her Name in Latest Power Play