Motec Declares 'Victory' After Jury Finds Embezzlement Accusations Baseless

In a split verdict, Flores was acquitted of grand theft and embezzlement—the core allegations that the 209 Times CEO Motecuzoma “Motec” Sanchez, and its star reporter Frank "The Scavenger" Gayaldo, had spent years promoting. According to courtroom sources, the jury's acquittal verdict on those two charges came down within the first 30 seconds of deliberation. However, she was found guilty of one count of insurance fraud, a charge so tangential it was reportedly found after investigators, on a tip from Gayaldo, sifted through her seized phone and found a misplaced grocery coupon under a photo of a cat.

"Justice has been served!" a celebratory Motec was seen declaring in the courthouse hallway, a single, solitary tear of triumph rolling down his cheek. He was overheard telling a bailiff, “We knew she was guilty all along... of something! This proves it!”

Sources close to the Cabal confirm the insurance fraud charge only came to light during what one insider called a "prosecutorial fishing expedition," which was made possible after District Attorney Ron "The Enforcer" Freitas, fresh off his victory in the election, made good on a “ring kissing” deal with Motec. The deal, which involved a campaign endorsement and a promise to go after political opponents, culminated in a highly-publicized, 11-deputy raid on Flores’s home, all based on a warrant referencing 209 Times’ “exposes” on her use of a school credit card for things like…well, lunch.

When asked to comment on the acquittals, the 209 Times' online platform was eerily silent. Readers were left to believe that Flores was convicted on all three counts, conveniently forgetting the main charges that launched their crusade—the allegations that she stole from school children. When pressed, one anonymous source at the 209 Times admitted, "The truth is, we don't want our readers to know we were wrong about the embezzlement. We spent years on that. Now, we're just going to stick to the insurance fraud. It's a much cleaner narrative."

Motec Celebrates Acquittal as a "Win"

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209 Times Unleashes Frank'enstein’ on Freitas After Flores Trial Fiasco

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UPDATE! Latest Toner Bandit Caper Foiled: Motec's 2nd Alleged Toner Recon Mission Thwarted at Courthouse