"Why Won't They Just Do What I Want?!" Cries Jason Lee, Citing "Toxic" City Hall

STOCKTON, CA – In a tearful, off-the-cuff soliloquy during a recent City Council meeting, Vice Mayor Jason Lee has doubled down on his claims of suffering immense trauma at Stockton City Hall and has considered resigning due to the “toxic” political environment. However, new insights suggest that Lee's definition of "toxic" is less about backroom deals or corruption and more about the infuriating reluctance of city staff to simply do exactly what he wants, precisely when he wants it.

Lee reportedly waxed poetic about how easy it would be to fix Stockton's problems if only everyone would recognize his inherent genius and simply fall in line. "Every single issue this city faces," Lee declared with a sweeping gesture, "from potholes to public housing, could be solved overnight if we just cut out all the 'dialogue' and 'process' and 'thinking it through' and just did what I said."

Sources now reveal that Lee is lamenting that his preferred management style of "constructive beratement" and "spirited ridicule" has been met with resistance rather than enthusiastic submission. This toxicity stems from the shocking inability of city employees to appreciate being treated like underpaid podcast production assistants fetching gluten-free croissants.

"This is the most toxic environment I've ever encountered," Lee reportedly sniffed, adjusting his bespoke suit jacket. "And I've been on sets where the catering ran out of kombucha!"

The Vice Mayor has been rudely awakened to the stark contrast between the starry-eyed entertainment industry workers and the surprisingly self-respecting public servants of Stockton. "Here," Lee wailed, according to multiple eyewitnesses, "if you politely point out that their report looks like it was written by some country bumpkin okie with a crayon, they complain about 'workplace harassment'!”

Lee, who handily won his election despite a platform largely consisting of vague promises and celebrity name-drops, now looks to give up and resign from the council out of frustration. Lee explained, "the problem isn't that people are doing bad things; it's that they're not doing my things."

"He genuinely believes that any pushback, any question, any suggestion of a review process, is an act of aggression," one anonymous aide whispered. "He'll propose something wildly impractical, like a city-funded meth and heroin dispensary for the homeless, and when staff raises concerns about, you know, zoning, costs, or if its even legal, he sees it as 'toxicity.' It's like, in his mind, if they're not cheering and immediately breaking ground, they're actively trying to ruin his life."

He seems to believe that only through a rigorous program of public shaming and thinly veiled threats can the workplace "toxicity" be eradicated.

"It's just… they don't get it," Lee sobbed. "Back in LA, if you needed a purple ube yam latte at 4 AM, and you yelled at the PA until they produced one, they'd practically nominate you for an Emmy! Because they understood the stakes. They knew I knew Beyoncé!"

Sources whisper that Lee has been particularly troubled by the lack of recognition of his profound celebrity connections and overall importance. "I know Queen Bey, people!" Lee was overheard exclaiming during a particularly tense discussion about parking permits.

The disconnect, according to Lee, is rooted in the Stockton staff's provincial ignorance of the entertainment industry's delicate ecosystem, where being treated with disdain is apparently a rite of passage. "They haven't grasped the fundamental truth," Lee reportedly confided to a bewildered city clerk, "that being yelled at by someone who knows famous people is actually a profound honor. It builds character! It prepares you for the real world… the world where Beyoncé might, hypothetically, need a very specific type of artisanal water fetched at a moment's notice."

Stockton city staff have apparently opted for such radical measures as filing grievances and expecting to be treated with basic respect – a reaction Lee finds deeply troubling.

One thing remains clear: Lee firmly believes that a greater appreciation for his celebrity proximity and a willingness to endure his "industry standard" management techniques are the keys to unlocking Stockton's true potential.

Vice Mayor Jason Lee, The Diva Politician, Cries "Trauma" As Stockton Staff Fails to Obey.